I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize