Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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