I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize