I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
