This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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