seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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