what day is it and did you see me today?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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