went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize