Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
