this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
