I need help removing her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
