The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize