There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
