i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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