I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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