i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
