I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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