you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My bed smells like the plague
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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