He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
