I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
