ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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