Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
