And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
