I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
