A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
