I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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