wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
