every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
