i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
