remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
