you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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