he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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