Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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