Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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