im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize