erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and she was petting her beer can
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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