You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Pappa wants mamma naked
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
