The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
