I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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