why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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