remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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