Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
