OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't deserve a penis
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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