well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
