Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
