when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
