the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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