if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
