Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
