Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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