You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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