so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
it hurts more in the daytime
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
