at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
