After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
