even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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