it wasn't lemon gatorade
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
