Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize