it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
